i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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