how can u be prego again
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
how drunk are you?
Several
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
