need another drink. this is the easiest way
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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