So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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