So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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