i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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