What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
