My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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