Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
