Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
