just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
