butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize