the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
