Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
