I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
