Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
