Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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