he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
