Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
