All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I could make wine with my vomit
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
