He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize