god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
