I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
