Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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(501): View more from Arkansas

i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there

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(818): View more from California

to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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(613): View more from Ontario

There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?

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(417): View more from Missouri

Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?

(410): View more from Maryland

you are way too vulgar to be a girl

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(847): View more from Illinois

As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.

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(937): View more from Ohio

she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks

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