then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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