Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
