i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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