I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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