do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
