He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
