Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I want her autograph on my taint
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
