your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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