dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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