Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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