I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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