just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize