Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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