Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
