My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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