Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
