can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
