i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
