well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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