the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
