her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
