i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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