She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
