I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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