You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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