i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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