If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
