Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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