i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
