YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
