I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
