He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
