is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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