We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
