Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
