And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
