My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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